Discussion in couples is inevitable, although a study carried out by researchers from the University of Tennessee (United States) has shown that those who are happier often discuss issues that are easy to solve, ignoring those who do not have solution.
To reach this conclusion, published in the magazine ‘Family Process’, the experts analyzed 57 couples of about 30 years of age who had been married for about 9 years; and 64 who were over 70 years old and had been together for about 42 years.
All couples were heterosexual, with an optimal educational level and all said they were happy. The problems related to intimacy, leisure, household chores, communication or money were those that they considered most serious, while jealousy, religion or family were the most banal conflicts.
When experts observed how these couples discussed the main marital problems, they realized that they all focused on those that had easier solutions such as, for example, the distribution of household chores or the way in which to enjoy free time.
AVOID DISCUSSIONS FOR HEALTH OR INTIMITY
“Rebalancing tasks may not be easy, but it lends itself to more concrete solutions than other problems. A spouse could do more of certain tasks to balance the balance,” the researchers said.
In this regard, experts have commented that one of the keys to marital success may be to avoid discussing issues that are difficult to resolve. “As much as possible, focusing first on problems that are easier to solve can be an effective way to develop the sense of security of both people in the relationship. If couples feel they can work together to solve their problems, they can give them the confidence to tackle the most difficult, “they have asserted.
And, for example, problems related to health or intimacy can be more difficult to address without attacking the self-esteem of the other person or without making them feel vulnerable or ashamed.
At the same time, experts have found that the more years the couples had been married, the less serious problems and fewer arguments they had. “Being able to successfully differentiate between the problems that must be solved against those that can be set aside can be one of the keys to a happy and lasting relationship,” they have settled.